hello, it’s me.

May 9, 2016 § Leave a comment

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^ If you are my friend please tell me who you are and not some random stalker person. I took my blog off all my social media sites already haish.

Super duper tired beyond belief – the same kind of tired I felt in the first few days after starting the law internship and there was so much stimulus and meeting people and feeling stressed about assigned work. One of the interns commented that I “looked really stressed” when I was editing photos I had taken in the afternoon for some award ceremony they had and that is literally me 100% of the time.

I deal with stress fairly well in that I don’t break down completely, I just work very feverishly and intensely to the point that I don’t hear, talk or respond to anyone because I need to focus. I guess I also place very high expectations on myself and overthink about assigned work a lot because when it comes to doing things for other people I tend to get a bit neurotic about shit. But when it comes to my own homework I’m just ~whatevs~

Anyway, I also managed to receive offers from both SMU and NUS to go to their law sk00ls (and the NUS offer was sent on my birthday to boot! Talk about being a movie protagonist hahaha) I am super pumped and grateful and proud to have gotten a place and now I can really put A’Levels behind me. I still need to writeup my interview experience for NUS – which was really fun and I enjoyed myself thoroughly – so I guess that post is in the pipelines!

Another fairly monuments life update is that I got a job in the place that Waves is working at! Will not name the organisation because I now have first hand knowledge they actually stalk forums to check up on what people are talking shit writing about them and now I am super conscious on what I post online :/ (in fact, collating all the forum posts about the organisation (and its competitors) is actually part of my job description) Personally, I hope tomorrow won’t be as stressful as today was (most of this stress was self-imposed btw) and I just don’t fuck up or anything because when I get anxious and stressed I tend to screw up quite a bit.

Really hope I adapt to waking up early and going home late again. Both my parents were huge advocates of me getting a job because they hated the notion of me rattling about at home with nothing to do. And my dad was so offended when I told him that maybe I “wanted to take it easy” for what is possibly my last extended break ever. He said that I had to get a job to essentially get used to being in “high pressure” situations which I would inevitably end up in since I’m reading law, and to “train” myself to be able to cope with pressure, expectations and constantly working. This is what happens when your dad is from the baby boomer generation, who is the middle child of a family of ten kids and basically worked his ass off in 2-3 jobs at a time when he was younger to make a living. Knowing how hard my dad worked when he was roughly my age really puts things in perspective of the kind of privilege I am growing up with. I take a job not out of necessity but because I have really nothing better to do. I can spend my money however I want and not worry about living on that said pay check.

Nevertheless, I am still very grateful for this job and being able to have a friend around is always great fun. Guess it provides so many opportunities for me to learn and to grow as a person as opposed to if I just cooped up at home and surfed the net and read everyday.

The quality of posts is going downhill as I adapt to this new environment, hopefully it will be back of its usual pretentious standards soon enough 🙂

walktioff

life updateeeeeee

May 3, 2016 § Leave a comment

Long time no blog! I foresee having some down time for this week at least because I just finished my contract at my old job and now I am in-between actually being officially hired for me new one. Things haven’t exactly been very confirmed with the new job so my mom has been super antsy and telling me to just find a new job through the recruitment agency I had went to previously. But I keep telling her that they will eventually call and I shouldn’t just jump the gun and start finding a new job, especially since the guy already confirmed they were hiring me, it’s just a matter of when that damn HR department was going to call. But she keeps on insisting that if they had wanted to hire me “they would have called long time ago”, and it just really annoys me because I don’t understand why she has to be so pessimistic about the whole thing? Like I understand that she probably doesn’t want me to get my hopes up or be left hanging by some faceless corporation but honestly I don’t really want to just jump to conclusions and lead myself into a greater problem than it already is?

Either way, job or no job it honestly doesn’t really impact my life that much – I don’t really care. Would I be disappointed if I end up not getting the job after waiting for like half a month? Not really. The thing is that I feel that too many people sweat over the small things in life and some times the “I don’t give a shit” mentality is the way to leading a happier life. Yes, there are some things you should definitely, 100% give a lot of shit about – like your education, or making time for family and friends etc. But these kinds of small things like whether I am going to get a part-time job at XYZ company really is so insignificant in the long run, to care about the outcome when you have no direct control over it is pretty stupid. If we start caring about so many small details in life or about the feelings of other people, when will we ever really have time to care about our own feelings and the feelings of people who really matter to you in the first place?

/rant over/

Pretty happy for a chill-out week this week, planning to catch up on some reading, youtubing and basically just a whole week of not doing a single productive thing and being grateful for it. I finished David Effer’s The Circle over the weekend and I really liked it! The writing is very smooth and easy to just pummel through and I realised that my pretentious reading palate simply cannot stand to read trashy actiony-spy/detective/John Grisham novels anymore. The gulf between the quality of writing/character depth/thematic concerns in The Circle versus another book I have been reading, Janet Evanovich’s The Heist is really jarring especially since I read the books so close to each other. I largely have nothing against YA authors (again JG is one of my favourite authors/people) and I adore the entirety of the literature section in kino – but if I had to do a Fahrenheit 451 to any section in the Kino store it would definitely be the entirety of the chick-lit section. The Heist is the first book in what I think is an entire series of the classic cop-baddie team up with the typical romance subplot overlay. It’s probably the first book I have picked ip in a few years that is not from the literature section in kino – and that is because it was a three books for $10 sale and if there is anything I love more in life, it’s cheap books.

Anyway, not to be too hoity-toity and elitist or whatever but seriously the writing and the characterisation is so terrible I feel ashamed to even have bought it now. Even if it was just $3.33. (Might sell it on carousell though) I only have gotten through like half of the book and I have no compulsion to continue at all. I have around three half-read books pending right now and I would largely chalk it up to my decreased attention span thanks to the Internet and also that most of their narratives is just not that compelling and I have been way too tired for reading the past few weeks with work and such.

/book ramble over/

Now onto social life! I have none!

/lol jk, I do have a social life/

/also this is going into SPOILERS FOR CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR/

Watched the very anticipated Captain America: Civil War last Sunday and I absolutely loved every single moment of that damn movie. (well except for that awkward *spoiler* kiss scene *end spoiler* ) I feel that any Marvel fan would be pretty damn pleased with this addition to the franchise especially since it dealt with much more emotional themes as compared to the anti-climatic entity that was Age of Ultron.

I am also quite satisfied with the amount of Bucky in this movie and the character direction that decided to take Cap’s character in is consistent with his development over the past two movies. The fight scene in the airport hangar between#TeamCap and #TeamIronman was so hilarious and full of Marvel’s quippy and witty one-liners I absolutely had a blast laughing through it and it was so great.

Though I feel like “Civil War” is a too ideologically-driven term to put it? The whole ideology between the split between Team Cap and Team Ironman wasn’t really fleshed out as I thought it would have been. There wasn’t much emphasis on the whole “government control over superheroes” after the whole signing of the accords (and the subsequent bomb) and it wasn’t even brought up again. The plot just shifted on to the more personal dimension of the split, which was Steve’s alliance towards Bucky against keeping the Avengers together.

From an objective standpoint, I am 10/10 Team Cap, because the whole “United Nations regulatory boards” is just a piece of bullcrap, especially if you studied JC History you would know how utterly ineffective the UN can be and absolutely nothing can get done if the big powers do not agree. The UN couldn’t handle the Rwandan genocide, what makes you think they can handle a fucking alien invasion or some demented internet-demon-robot creation? By the time the “important people” finished squabbling about what to do when part of a country is being lifted off the fucking ground – defying the laws of gravity might I add – there would be nothing left to avenge anyway.

I agree maybe the super heroes need to be regulated in that they need something like the SHIELD to operate under and act as a mediatory between the superheroes and the government. But as we see, SHIELD too is prone to being utterly fucked up from the inside – can you imagine what will happen in such a clumsy bureaucratic arrangement such as the Sokovia Accords? Captain has been betrayed by his own minders for way too many times to ever really believe in another top-down organisations. I was also not surprised that Nat was the one who eventually “defected” and helped Cap despite being on Tony’s side. There wasn’t much of her in this movie and I’m a bit sad about that because I love Nat and she’s so badass. Technically, I feel that Wanda should be on Team Ironman and Nat should be on Team Cap. Mainly because Nat was under the Red Room and she should know what it feels like to be oppressed by some mindless controller. Meanwhile, Wanda has more emotional premise to side with Team Ironman because her parents were killed as side damage to one of of Tony’s weapons and she would want some accountability for the Avengers (even if she is one now). She also kind of accidentally blew up half an entire building and felt pretty shitty about it afterwards so… Then again, she probably hated being under the control of Hydra and being manipulated by them, so maybe that’s why she’s with Team Cap.

Rambled again ugh. Will try to get back into blogging in meaningful sentences soon and maybe do a comprehensive review of the movies/books I have been consuming these past few days!

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