January 12, 2017 § Leave a comment

When you stop giving a fuck for a moment, and let loose, it is riveting – like throwing open the metaphorical curtains and facing the merciless onslaught of sunlight glaring into your eyes. It’s liberation from your own thoughts, your own self, your own body. To fling yourself so passionately and uncaringly into things that matter, into conversations with people, to answering and asking questions in class. That’s something I would like to work on in 2017. To live recklessly, but joyfully, to embrace life inside and out of my head in its unchanging, overwhelming, glaring totality

– A paragraph from a privated postΒ 

(con)tractΒ 

January 10, 2017 § Leave a comment

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Before every exam (like Alevels) I have called on the power of The Mike. And it has largely worked out for me. Contract tomorrow. honestly need all the luck I can get with this paper. Lucky Mike picture don’t fail me now bby πŸ’•

TGIF

September 23, 2016 § Leave a comment

Friday is upon us and the weekend is here! πŸ™‚

Very grateful for this recess week which involves copious amounts of late night chatting with the Up All Night squad till 2am and being old women chatting about the past hohoho and the awesome feeling of waking up at 12/1pm with no worries. πŸ˜€

Of course the work I actually revised is not.. a lot LOL but I did catch up on some tort and contract readings. Crim is still an elusive magical deer which I can fantom abstractly, but never really understand up close. So… that’s a work in progress? (trying to be positive here) Still need to:

  1. type out notes for tort introductory
  2. type in additional notes for DoC in torts
  3. read Gary chan’s chapter on special situation for negligence
  4. Read consideration chapter of Andrew Phang (contract)
  5. type in certainty readings into notes (contract)
  6. At least read Simester’s readings causation and intention goddamn it.
  7. edit my PBG slides AH
  8. pay my tuition fees for this sem

That is a lot to finish in three days. If I’m honest, I’d be lucky if I finished 60% of the list, so will update as I go – public accountability yeah? haha

On a more personal note, I have been doing Blogilates (pilates instructional videos on Youtube) for about a week plus and it really has done wonders for my physical and mental health. I always look forward to the evening after 5.30 because that’s when I can stop work and do the videos and have fun and I always feel happy and accomplished after I finished a session. And despite the whole no weights or heavy lifting/gymming, I do see like physical changes in my core strength and muscles (because lbr, I am a vain person and I do it partly so I feel more confident about my body) And it provides a good routine for me to separate the afternoon from night ^^

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Will try to blog more when school starts again, because I always love reading back my old entries and see where I was a year ago when I was still battling A Levels haha

Let’s get Lit.

September 19, 2016 § Leave a comment

Wasted the whole of today – mainly because I woke up at 1pm because I went on a Hamilton bender last night. Got to go to sleep before 12 tonight so I can wake up early tomorrow morning and start my revision proper. *muscle arm emoji*

/this post is very very rambly and incoherent and is basically about me whinging about missing literature and yeap. brilliant Towerofivories (TM) content as usual/

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I have three new books in my to be read pile. One is from Australia and two from SG. I just can’t not buy a new book whenever I walk into a bookshop. It is physically impossible for me not to pick a new baby to bring home with me because I always feel like buying books is like adopting them. And I feel strangely happy whenever I go to Kino and I see all these people with new books cradled in their arms as they queue at the register – like new owners adopting a new doggie in the ASPCA.

Reading/buying books a fucking expensive hobby (as brought to my attention by my supervisor when we had a mini debate about books and the merits of having a rainbow colour-coordinated book shelf – I am a huge proponent of rainbow bookshelves). It’s a luxury that I recognise that not everyone can afford, so I’m grateful if for anything, I always have reading as a hobby to fall back on. Because my interests wane so quickly, nothing really has been in a constant in my life. Violin, art, writing tumblr-famous poetry, dabbling in my various fandoms – all phases in my life that I once loved passionately but over time, the love fades and these things becomes part of who I am, but no longer a definitive part of me. But reading has always been a constant every since I was little. I could go weeks and weeks and weeks without reading a new book, but I still love going to bookshops, I still love words and quotes and pretentious characters. I love I love I love.

And I miss studying lit so much. Reading for pleasure is so different from being in a structured environment where you can discuss and write and theorise about character motivations and themes and just feel the little sparks of pleasure when you make an original connection or analysis. There is really no greater feeling of satisfaction other than to get into a ‘zone’ – where you tear these characters and their symbols and works into the barest of bones and then stitch them back together – it’s like you are playing God because you can suddenly see everything as clear as day.

I was talking to a Y3 senior randomly in school and we can apparently take elective modules in year 3. There was one about Literature in Law (or Law in Literature, can’t remember) and I was telling her how excited I was to take that course because it meant I could do lit again. But who knows whether it will still be a popular module by the time I even get to Y3…

I don’t think I could have love ROTD if I had merely read it for pleasure, in fact I hated it when I first did a read through before it was taught in class. ROTD is one of the only books I still remember what I felt, where I was when I was reading it for the first time. I think I love it not only because it has reflected so much about myself in the characters, but because I was taught how to appreciate it and how to empathise with the characters that I couldn’t not love it. Reading it on my own, I probably wouldn’t have made the same connections that I made when I was taught it.

(on an unrelated note, I wanted to buy Ishiguro’s The Unconsoled – because lord knows I am a Ishiguro fanwhore – but stopped myself upon remembering how many books I haven’t even touched yet… But I will get it. One day)

Law is so technical now. I can’t say I hate it because I genuinely… don’t. I don’t feel a surging passion for it, but I do find everything being taught interesting and fascinating and so much more complex than what it appears on the surface. Writing is a different challenge for me because unlike Lit, law requires you to be specific, and technical and so definitively accurate in your word choice, it’s like your margin for error in language is too small, too tight.

In Lit I am used to being more flowery and open with my language – I never realised how extreme my language is until it was pointed out to me in a seminar discussion. We were discussing about the government’s function in Singapore and I said the government serves to “guide a cultural rhetoric to shape the people and society”. And the prof looked at me and asked, “okay, but why did you use the word rhetoric?” I didn’t even know why I chose the word ‘rhetoric’ and his questioned pushed me to kind of say something along the lines of the government creating an ideal that it wishes for society to be adopted. The prof then explained how the word rhetoric subtly also underscores something vaguely negative about how and the kinds the messages and ideals the government is pushing onto us – and this undertone was something I hadn’t even consciously considered when I blurted the answer in the first place.

I suppose there could have been thousands of more “neutral” word choices I could have used, but that instance really made me think about how word choices subtly betray our beliefs and our viewpoints without us even being conscious of it.

Yeah anyway, back to law writing. The margin for vagueness is so much smaller than it had been with GP or lit. And the analytical skill set although very very useful – also takes a bit of adapting. In law, precedents and case authorities is key. When you find a quote supporting a stand you want to make, you have to wholesale lift the entire quote and plonk it into your analysis. This is different from lit, because you have to explain or rephrase the quote and you don’t lean back on quotes alone as heavily as you do in law. Which of course meant my first assignment went down disastrously because the only safe way to ensure your word choice is accurate is to rip it fully from the original judgement instead of clunkily trying to rephrase it in your own layman words.

But! I did find some of the analytical thrill in law as I had in analysing lit. No idea whether what I am doing is correct or not, but I did have a lot of genuine fun on our recent office memorandum. Hoping that I will start to love law as much as I love literature – maybe not in the exact same way but still love it nonetheless. πŸ™‚

P r e t t y.

September 15, 2016 § Leave a comment

“We love defeating women. We like the women that we respect on film and television to resemble the men we respect, or at least be attractive enough that we forgive them for being that way.”

Protected: Sad lonely potato child that is me.

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Home is where the heart is

August 22, 2016 § Leave a comment

Went back to DHS with the Up All Night squad and it was such a great meet up and I have missed talking to Kimbz and Zi Wei and Waves in person so so so much. I love how we can just pick up right where we stopped and it’s like nothing much has changed even though our lives have split into so many different new pathways.

And talking to the teachers and okay lah, not gonna lie, it was a bit awkward at times because I wasn’t that close to any of them before so I didn’t know what to say? Plus the fact my life isn’t very interesting at the moment haha :’) But always felt like they would slip in some advice on life/boys/school and you can just tell it’s always so genuine and they care so much about the students and the ex-students it just elicits a lot of warm and fuzzy feelings in me. πŸ™‚

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Then shit-talking in the canteen around the area where we used to sit when we were still studying in school was so nice and ~good vibes~ πŸ™‚ The bunch of us probably have gotten more rowdier and non-PG 13 coming out from DHS, but it still feels nice to know that you always have genuinely good, wonderful and amazing people in your life despite the barrage of change around you.

Was planning to go at 3pm because I am so so so behind on my readings and assignment prep but ended up staying till 5? Completely conked off when I reached home because I was exhausted from staying up till 2 last night so I didn’t start work till 9. Sigh. But I don’t regret staying back though! Readings, can always finish some other time – but meeting with friends and talking with your old teachers is an opportunity that doesn’t come very often (especially with our conflicting schedules and school ramping up.)

Didn’t do very well for my first case summary assignment for LARC. But it was expected I suppose, I just had a lot of anxiety going into it because it was the first time we were completely on our own and the tutors don’t really guide us through anything anymore. (Preparation for working life no doubt, the handholding has to stop at some point). If I had to be positive, it would definitely be that making all the mistakes for the first not so important assignment is a great way for me to learn from the things I did wrong/misunderstood to improve in the next upcoming email assignment haha.

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Academics aside, I finally joined a sub-club in school πŸ˜€ I never really envisioned joining pr0-b0n0’s migrant worker project for real before actually applying but after weighing the cost and benefits I realised it was probably the best fit for me. It’s definitely not the “slackest” sub-club but I figured I needed to have a life outside academics and mugging. Plus I wanted to do something that I wouldn’t necessarily get to do in school, which is meeting with beneficiaries who actually would benefit from the subject we are studying. To be honest, I don’t know much about migrant worker issues (aside from the really abstract general knowledge stuff) and I will be the first to admit I suffer from my fair share of pre-conceived biases and prejudices. So I guess this will be a challenge for me to overcome my own ignorance and also see what exactly what I am slaving over for the next 4 years will help when I go into practice.

That’s all for now – life is… challenging. But it’s days like this where help tide you through the storms.

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